The Day I Became a Mother
If you would of told me in my college days that I would one day be a mother to 5 strong little girls, I would of never believed it. Various reasons behind that statement but primarily one, I never envisioned myself as a #GirlMom and back then I thought 4 kids was my limit. Girl, was I wrong! I am 1 of 4 and the only girl at that so I always felt that 4 was a good number. Growing up with brothers I just assumed very naively that I would have boys.
I have been with my other half for as long as I can remember. Honestly, motherhood has always been a dream for me. When others were thinking about their future careers, I was thinking about my future mothering journey. You must be thinking that's crazy right? Maybe in a way it was. My childhood like many others wasn't an amazing experience so in many ways I saw motherhood as a redo, a healing journey for myself.
My husband and I tried for 2 years to conceive and nothing. Month after month my period became a constant reminder that no matter how much we tried it just wasn't happening. I will say this added some stress and tension to our relationship. Like many other women, I decided we should just stop trying and explore it later in life. I took a new job in another state not thinking anything of it. My cycle was always irregular since the start of puberty so if it didn't show up, or it wasn't as heavy as other times, I thought nothing of it. I began my new job and was not feeling well and figured it was just my anxiety and the sudden move. Ha! Was I wrong. I was 4 months pregnant with my first baby girl and had no idea! My bellies haven't been particularly big and I give credit to my big hips for that.
Motherhood although long awaited came to me as a surprise. A very pleasant surprise. My husband however, was still working in another state since he hadn't found work to move yet. I spent almost the remainder of my pregnancy just seeing him on the weekends. I was also just very emotional and sad that pregnancy. I had a lot of complications. Placenta previa and low movement. I was in the hospital 4x a week for Non-stress testing and we would always "fail" that and be sent in for an ultrasound to confirm all was well. I literally have 2 photo albums of just ultrasound pictures of her.
My first baby girl came into this world 8 days early, after 16.5 hours of active labor. She was born sunny side up, 2nd degree tear and 5lbs of pure love later, I was officially a mom. Here I was holding my baby girl, one month shy of turning of 26 years old on Friday, April 8th I too was reborn as a mommy.