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  • Nancy Sanchez

When do you know you're done having kids?


There is not a day that goes by without receiving a comment, a message, or some stranger giving us their input about the size of our family. Often times, even my parents will give me their opinion. What is it about being a woman that just opens us up to random commentary about our bodies? How many kids will you have? Don't you think you've had enough kids already? Are you going to keep trying for the boy/girl? Aren't you getting a little old to not have kids yet? The questions and commentary are endless and frankly, it's exhausting. Why should it matter to the outside world what decisions I make for me or my household?


I have found myself in conversation with friends and honestly asking them, "How did you know you were done having kids?" As expected, I received an array of answers from different walks of life. Some of my friends just felt it in their gut, others had a set number, some couldn't physically have any more. If we look at our own history, we have seen our own families change throughout time. My maternal grandmother is 1 of 10, my mother is 1 of 6, I am 1 of 4 and as of today I have given birth to 5 daughters. On my husband's side: My mother in law is 1 of 10, my husband is also 1 of 4. My daughters are still blessed to have 3 healthy and living great grandparents on my side


Originally, my ideal number of children was 4. 4 felt like a safe number since it was a number we both knew well. However, I reached my number and didn't feel complete. I could not imagine not carrying another life inside of me. (My pregnancies have all been complicated from placenta previa to low fetal movement and even a loss so it's definitely not my love of being pregnant nor what my body has gone through.) Pregnancies are not my favorite. I physically struggle a lot through its entirety. Nausea and sciatica are my nemesis. Let's not forget that being pregnant while also having very active children means there is no rest. no down time....ever.


So, how does one know when you've reached your ideal number? This is a fluid conversation for many. Finances are a huge factor for families as well. It should be a factor for us but I was raised with the concept that "Where two eat so can four and You just add a little more broth to the soup." I'd love to know how you knew you were done or if you don't know yet like me; what thoughts and questions you are using to go through your process.

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