Why are we in constant competition?
It is 2022 and we as mothers continue to fall into a competitive trap. Why are we in constant competition? Why is it so hard for us to support one another whole heartedly. This is something that has sat with me for years and now as a mother of 5 under 10 I still cannot answer.
Motherhood comes with the desire to brag and to scream from the roof tops all the fun and new things that our babies are doing. So, is bragging the right word? Maybe it is, but the negative connotations that it comes with should not be attached to parenting.
I know every milestone brought me so much joy that I just wanted everyone to know. Let's be honest, motherhood can also be very lonely so milestones may be the only thing we have to talk about in this current stage of our life.
Motherhood can look so different for every mother and that is ok. We are all taking different paths but we are all striving for the same destination; raising a loved and bright human being.
So what is it that makes us moms compete or judge one another?
Every action we choose as parents, it seems, becomes fodder for competition. Is it because we as women have been raised to think we can and should do it all? We are taught to strive for amazing careers and to break glass ceilings but on the flip side we are driven towards for motherhood by the nature of being women. We are constantly forced to choose or to juggle that and more.
We don't have to out-do our fellow mamas but rather we should do everything to be supportive of them. Let's start by not assuming questions and comments are ways to be passive aggressive with one another. Our feelings are so raw and on the surface with motherhood already that sometimes even comments that come with good intentions can be hurtful. Any judgement of the child becomes an automatic judgement of the mother. All moms want the best for their kids, and we don’t need to be the best at everything to achieve that.
Let's drop the competition and embrace the unity. Drop the judgement and ask with genuine curiosity. Let that mama be over the top or minimalistic if that makes her happy.