Will you be my friend?
While we are pregnant we always hear about this "Village", especially with your first pregnancy. It's like this magical group that is supposed to appear right after you give birth. Here comes baby and (Poof!) here comes your village. Well I am here to say that I am 5 babies in and I am still waiting for this village.
I am fortunate to live close to family but being first generation American just means that sadly, both my parents are still working multiple jobs in order to sustain themselves so they have little to no time to provide support. Don't get me wrong, we are definitely loved. My girls are truly loved, which is a huge blessing. I guess, we have to come to terms with what the word "village" means to each one of us. Personally, for me, I envisioned this Mama tribe of Moms that were experiencing the same mama troubles or had the same age group of kids like me. It would go something like: "You know, I haven't slept in 10 years and you haven't either so lets be friends"... kind of bond.
I think at this point in my journey of motherhood other moms just smell my desperation for friendship and run the other way. Maybe it's all the word vomit that happens when I talk to another adult since I lack adult interaction these days. It's hard too, living somewhere where you just feel like you don't fit in, you don't look the part or have shared past experiences. "Soy una Latina en Suburbia" = "I am a Latina in the suburbs."
I have had the privilege of meeting some amazing mamas that I was sure we'd hit it off and have an amazing friendship with but then reality set in and I just realized it wasn't going to turn out the way I had hoped. Have you all had that experience? The one-sided "friendship"? Making mom friends is worst than dating. Can I write them a note and say: Will you be my mom friend? Circle yes or no? I do have one mom friend that I trust blindly with my girls, one that wont judge me for packing tortillas for snacks, one that gets what
it was like growing up translating for my parents at a young age.
I will say this, I don't think it is ever too late to build your village. I think it's something I am still trying to do to this day. I want my mama tribe. I want to pick up the phone at the wee hours of the night and know I am not alone holding a crying baby. I want to know that I am not alone in this brain fog life. I want to be able to cry alongside you as well as to share in the joys of every milestone. I love my daughters and I know there are other mothers out there like me...so where are you? I am here looking for you.